I have answered the big questions for myself and have a deeper and more grounded realization of who I am and what my purpose is…
and I am happier now on the other side of 10 years than I ever imagined possible.

Though there were times in the last 10 years
when I thought I would not make it in every sense
from my health to my career and my relationships…
and did crash and burn more than once in all of those
areas of my life, all of it, Sept. 11 included, was all
worth it because I love where I am right now…
and if anything happened differently I would not
have the beautiful relationship I have now with
myself and life itself.

Without Sept. 11 and all
that came after it in the last 10 years:
closing my store in SOHO, NYC; dissolving my 13 year old
business; moving cross country; changing careers a few times;
bankruptcy; unemployment; divorce; homelessness and illness…
I would still be living a shallow life built on a foundation of sand
that was bound to get blown away if not by Sept. 11, by
something else sooner or later.

Now my life stands on immovable, ever present cement.

From living through all the challenges I have faced the last 10 years
I know how to get up when I fall and how to choose to be
happy regardless of my circumstances or what I or anyone else thinks of me.

I have learned how to embrace the challenges and be grateful for
what they have to teach me about myself and life itself…
and most of all I have learned how to forgive myself and the
world for being what it is and find an empowered state of acceptance.

In stead of wishing things hadn’t happened or were different and
holding on to the guilt, anger and grief that arguing with reality always brought me,
I now choose on a daily basis to accept what is
(thanks to Byron Katie, www.thework.com) and ask myself
what can I do now and focus on taking positive action rather
than having pity parties.  I am no longer a hostage of my
circumstances shut down by my emotions.  I choose to see the
truth about myself and it always sets me free.

So for for all of this I am deeply grateful and
so for me it’s a happy Sept. 11 anniversary.

I am glad I was there watching the towers burn,
smelling the toxic air for months,
seeing tanks on my street corner,
showing ID to go home through military blockades,
crying with my friends over lost loved ones,
watching businesses go under including my own…

For all of this Sept. 11, thank you
for changing me and my life forever.
I am a better human being because of it
and the higher, bigger and more important purpose
of being a better human being gives purpose
to all of the pain all the loss.

And I am so grateful that because of all Sept. 11 brought to me
over the last 10 years, I can now deeply enjoy and appreciate
the simple things I used to take for granted
like smiles, laughter and nature’s beauty
and realize more each day how profound love is
and how nothing else matters more to me.

So I wanted to take this opportunity of Sept. 11, 2011
to thank all of you fellow human beings for being
my friends and even my foes.
You have taught me how to love
and forgive unconditionally
for my own sake and that of all of us.
It means everything to me.

Love you,
Renee